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There are millions of old annal out there in the world—believe me, I dig through bags of them ceremony week. But annal fabricated in my hometown are rare, and every time I appear beyond a almanac fabricated in Sonoma County by addition I’ve never heard of, I add it to a accumulation out in my garage. Occasionally, I’ll cull the annal out and paw through them, arena a song actuality and there, abstruse over the names and addresses, apprehensive what happened to the band.

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There’s an oft-recycled assessment in Sonoma County that the ’70s and ’80s were the celebrity canicule of bounded music, ancillary calmly with the boyish and twenty-something years of an beforehand bearing that now owns the area’s clubs, radio stations, almanac food and newspapers. As with any era, there’re some abundant belief from this time, but unfortunately, a from old flyers and the blotchy memories of those involved, there’s no absolute account of it. Old records, like the ones in my garage, authority the clues.

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Recently advancing beyond the accumulation again, I bent to assuredly alpha tracking bottomward some of the bodies who continued ago committed their hopes and dreams to vinyl.

Take, for example, the bandage alleged D. Grandiose and their aberrant four-song LP, Delusional, recorded in 1987. The album’s awning shows the bandage lounging aing to an old barn with instruments, fishing poles and scuba gear, while costumed account ride ponies, accomplish karate moves and affectation with inflatable animals in the background. A adjacent RV is draped with an adapted sign: “Loonie Tunes Wagon.”

There’s a collection of styles on Delusional, mostly befitting with the era. The aboriginal cut, “You Will Learn,” opens with a riff aerial anon from Journey’s “Separate Ways,” while the up-tempo afterpiece “Lorraine” channels the Blasters in their prime. I was able to acquisition bagman Kerry Garloff, the one in the bathtub on the anthology cover, who insists that the Journey allegory is arduous coincidence. Garloff played alone two shows with D. Grandiose—a abode affair and a record-release appearance at a club on Sonoma’s Plaza—but was able to explain that the awning photo was “a beheld representation of the band’s name, Delusional Grandiose.” In contempo years, Garloff performed with a pianist/magician alleged Ashkenazi the Appealing Good, and these canicule he lives in San Diego bearing music and alive in the biking industry.

D. Grandiose’s anthology is appealing unusual, but drifter still is Heterodyne State Hospital by $27 Snap On Face. Pressed on dejected vinyl, Heterodyne appearance songs like “Let’s Accept an Affair” and “Sleeping in a Technical Bed,” and ends with complaining acclaim from association of Sonoma State Hospital (now the Sonoma Developmental Center). The anthology awning shows the bandage in wheelchairs, walkers and crutches, cutting pajamas and arena croquet. If that’s not awe-inspiring enough, there’s additionally a surreal analogy on the central gatefold panel, a lyric breadth with freeform prose, a ample fold-out affiche of the band’s guitarist and diva and, of course, a Santa Rosa address.

A simple Google chase led me to Frank Walburg, who played in the bandage appropriate up until the anthology was appear and who told me that Steve Nelson, the bassist, already delivered Santa Rosa’s mail for the postal service. Armed with this clue, I asked my adjacency mailman if he’d anytime heard of Steve Nelson. The aing day my buzz rang and–voilà!—I was talking to the bassist for $27 Snap On Face.

“We were undisciplined, we were actual loud and, in a lot of ways, unprofessional,” Nelson says over the buzz from his Sebastopol home, not far from the babyish afford breadth the bandage originally practiced. “But at the aforementioned time, we had a following. It was wacky.”

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Onstage, the bandage lived up to their self-created persona as mentally abashed individuals by ablution themselves in ketchup, lighting date backdrop on blaze and, at one appearance christened “Jacques Cousteau’s 25th Annual Toga Party,” assuming in a bootleg bathysphere on a date blowzy with helium-balloon fish. Nelson says that accompanist David Petri and guitarist Bob O’Connor had to bounce these antics on the draft of the band, “because they knew that we were added conservative.” Alike today he abhorrence aback abandoning an onstage teddy-bear stabbing.

$27 Snap On Face opened for Cheech and Chong at the Santa Rosa Veterans Memorial Building, played a few Jerry Lewis telethons, won a city-sponsored Battle of the Bands and acceptable the adventitious to biking to the Philippines to represent the United States in a karate clash (the cruise was aghast by Jimmy Carter’s adopted policy). Arena the Cheech and Chong date appropriate the bandage to accompany the Musicians Union, which resulted in the unglamorous Sonoma State Hospital concerts. “We couldn’t get any acceptable gigs out of the union,” O’Connor remembers 30 years later. “I anticipate every gig we got from the abutment was arena out at the nuthouse.”

O’Connor handled the accomplish and administration of the LP, accession stickers to the advanced awning which apprehend either “Direct from Sebastopol” or “Direct from Sonoma County,” a move he calls added political- than marketing-minded. “Sonoma County had some absolutely acceptable musicians,” he explains, “and yet we array of played additional bank to Marin County and San Francisco. So it was aloof to admonition put Sonoma County on the map, to some degree.” Still, he cites the area’s embrace of disco as a agency in the band’s breakup, aback “a lot of clubs were shutting bottomward because all they bare were chandeliers and spinning lights.”

O’Connor would accept admired to accept fabricated added albums, but eventually the bandage fizzled. Nelson abdicate first, adage that rehearsals were artlessly too loud. Additionally, bandage associates were accepting acclimated to actuality paid a brace hundred dollars ceremony per appearance and the opportunities for high-paying jobs had started to thin. “When you aboriginal get into music, you aloof adulation playing,” O’Connor says. “The added airplay you get and the afterpiece you get to acceptable mainstream, it kinda screws with your arch and you get some unrealistic expectations. And that’s basically what sank us in the continued run.”

O’Connor now lives in Hawaii, and aftermost anyone heard, David Petri formed as a absolute acreage abettor in Cobb. Bagman Ron Ingalshe’s abode are unknown. The aftermost time all the bandage associates saw ceremony added was in 1993, at guitarist Jim Doherty’s burial in Occidental. The Heterodyne State Hospital LP commonly sells on eBay for $50 to $70.

David Petri popped up a few years afterwards accomplishing a advantageous Merle Haggard clothing calling out breadth confined like the Buckhorn, the Wagon Wheel and the 8-Ball as allotment of Sonoma Soundtrack, a accumulation anthology put out by the admired above bounded radio abject KVRE-FM. Featuring the archetypal tune “Woman with a Chainsaw” (along with such localized titles as “Santa Rosa Railroad Bum,” “Down Sebastopol Way” and “Sonoma County”), the LP started a abbreviate trend in comps: a brace years later, addition bounded accumulation alleged Sonoma Gold circumscribed up from Santa Rosa. It featured the agitative new beachcomber sounds of bands like the Subz, Tony Lonely, the Harvest Bandage and bounded songsmith Danny Sorentino’s aboriginal band, the Chills.

No aboriginal ’80s Santa Rosa new beachcomber altercation would be complete, however, afterwards acknowledgment of the Electric Toys, whose “Feed the Fire” and “Electric Energy” 45 has addled my aerial and puzzled my academician for years. It sounds like it’s extensive for a approaching that doesn’t exist, abounding of synthesizer solos and pitch-perfect harmonies. Bristles adolescent appealing boys are depicted on the awning central a television set; on the aback is a Santa Rosa buzz number.

Unsurprisingly, the buzz cardinal is no best good, but I was able to acquisition bassist David Payne alive as a guitar repairman up in Bellingham, Wash. “The bandage had a acceptable chance,” he says, “but there was consistently something. A bend would somehow get befuddled into the spokes.”

In 1982, the Electric Toys had a manager, a ambassador and alike a hairstylist and, to apprehend Payne acquaint it, they seemed to be on top of the apple for a few years. The almanac was played on the radio and the bandage opened for Huey Lewis, Night Ranger and Greg Kihn, as able-bodied as headlining the assemblage allowance of the El Rancho Tropicana Hotel (“We acclimated to backpack that place,” he boasts). Almanac labels like Atlantic and Beserkley were interested, he says, but the alone actual accessible certificate of the bandage is the 45, a almanac he despised.

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“I didn’t like the cover,” he says, “and I additionally wasn’t addicted of the production. Afore that, I was bearing our demos, and they had a bit added bend and a little added bite to them, not aggravating to brightness it up and accomplish it complete all bubblegummy, which is what they did, because they were absolutely aggravating to commercialize.”

But who is “they”? I looked in the buzz book and begin ambassador and architect Allen Sudduth. He recalls the bartering admiration advancing from the band. “I bethink activity to rehearsals and alignment songs, and they were abundant guys to assignment with,” he says. “But as I recall, it was a cine I’d apparent a lot of times. There were amoebic bands and again there were bands that had some array of a Svengali abaft them, a administrator or whatever, who’d absolutely try to adviser them into whatever the bazaar was at the time.”

Eventually, interpersonal relationships in the bandage took their toll, abnormally amid Payne and advance singer-songwriter Phil Holden. “We were best accompany aback I was 14, autograph music together,” says Payne, still aural bitter, “and I never got any acclaim absolutely for my contributions to a lot of the songs.

“Last time I talked to Phil, he’s got a lot of issues,” Payne claims. “He has for a continued time. He’s affectionate of mad at the world. Everybody that I’ve been talking to afresh says that they’ve accounting him off, and cipher absolutely wants to allocution with him because he’s so pissed off all the time and doesn’t accept annihilation nice to say.”

Afterwards a continued search, I tracked bottomward Phil Holden, afraid to acquisition that he’s absolutely one of the calmest, nicest bodies imaginable. I told him about Payne’s comments, and he seemed abundantly unfazed. “I like him and we had a aing relationship,” Holden maintains. “But I don’t know, it’s like he’s got some pent-up acrimony appear me.”

Holden played in bounded awning bands for a while afterwards the bandage bankrupt up and eventually spent 15 years in Los Angeles. “I assumption I advised myself array of avant-garde, aggravating to be affected or modern,” he explains, “and I acquainted like a lot of the bodies in Santa Rosa were small-town-minded, accustomed American people.”

Now alive in Sonoma, Holden accidentally plays music with accompany every week, while guitarist Gordy Barnes works as a accommodation administrator in Santa Rosa, assuming at his abbey alert a month. The Electric Toys’ drummer, Jerry Fox, abashed to Nashville, and keyboardist Keith Bender, son of above Santa Rosa ambassador Jane Bender, anesthetized abroad in 2004.

Let’s see, what abroad is in the accumulation here? How about the Wild Brides? The 1986 LP Endless Honeymoon comes from the bandage who already opened for Exposé, Chris Isaak and the Plasmatics in the aforementioned week. The LP abashed breadth DJs by arena at 45 RPM, and admitting the bandage afterwards recorded a CD, there was a assertive agreeableness to audition bounded radio stations comedy the almanac at the amiss speed. “The adeptness for radio stations to be admiring of bounded music,” recalls guitarist Robin Pfefer, “they don’t absolutely accept that affluence anymore.”

Recording the LP accepted challenging, too, aback Cotati’s Prairie Sun studios became beat with babyish possums during the sessions. “I was agreeable at [owner Mooka Rennick], ‘I’m not gonna pay for this bottomward time!'” Pfefer remembers. “‘If they eat our tape, I’m gonna annihilate you!'” The record’s kookiest song is a aberrant ode to animal loyalty, “Monogamy,” accounting by the alone macho affiliate of the six-member band. (“He was apparently one of the atomic austere guys I’ve anytime met, so I don’t apperceive what that was about—maybe to allay his wife or something,” Pfefer says.)

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The Wild Brides appear addition anthology on CD afore breaking up in 1991, and Pfefer now owns Gravenstones in Cotati and the Black Cat in Penngrove, which is additionally managed by the Wild Brides’ drummer, Wendy Behrbaum. Behrbaum and Pfefer comedy in a bandage calm alleged Cheap Date 13, and the Wild Brides’ accompanist Sheila Groves is the primary booking abettor for the Mystic Theatre in Petaluma.

Added musicians who are still alive in the association accommodate Frank Hayhurst, whose bandage the Bronze Hog recorded Hey! Bronze Hog Alive in 1978 at the Inn of the Beginning. Through allegorical 1960s shows with Janis Joplin, the Doors, the Seeds and Canned Heat, the bandage acquired a berserk fan base, acquisitive for vinyl. But the bandage was broke, arena mostly benefits; Hayhurst resourcefully started demography preorders for an anthology that didn’t abide and eventually covered all the costs.

Hayhurst has no agnosticism that if the almanac had appear out earlier, the bandage would accept been abundant added successful. “But we were accomplishing it because we admired accomplishing it,” he insists, “not because there was some abstraction of distinction or a big paycheck or that we would be bedrock stars or any of that. That was like addition world, addition dimension.”

Afterwards starting Zone Music in Cotati in 1982, Hayhurst watched abounding of his adolescent musicians abatement by the wayside in chase of fame. “A lot of bodies gave up,” he says, “because they were aggravating to be a brilliant and they were aggravating to accomplish it and aggravating to accept a hit. And aback that didn’t happen, they got blue and discouraged.”

Not anybody affronted sour, however. None could be added blithe about his abrupt recording career than Steve Shirrell, whose active 45 “The U.N. Shuffle” acclaimed the 40th ceremony of the United Nations in 1985. Afterwards acute a almanac at the bidding of his boss, Shirrell promptly beatific a archetype to Dr. Demento, who played the abnormal tune on his amalgamated radio show.

“I absolutely got some bodies in the Midwest, distributors in Iowa, who bought 25 copies!” Shirrell beams. “I still accept that cancellation actuality somewhere!” He’s additionally acquisitive to chronicle the time radio abject KSRO played the record, accurately acceptable their admirers that it was not on the approved playlist. “Isn’t that funny?” Shirrell asks.

Shirrell’s act at the time complex a physics theme, employing a blackboard with Venn diagrams; the single’s cast side, “The Aing Time,” was aggressive by Shirrell’s declared adeptness to affairs out-of-body experiences. Shirrell has a continued history in Santa Rosa; his parents were account in the 1955 cine Storm Center, filmed at the Santa Rosa library and starring Bette Davis, and he has formed at Stanroy’s Music Center aback 1983. “The U.N. Shuffle” was the alone almanac he released.

Around the aforementioned time, a bandage alleged California recorded a self-titled LP, six songs of able country-rock. Admitting the bandage started in 1979, they didn’t almanac until 1986. Tragically, it was their aftermost recording session.

I begin diva Lisa Iskin the ancient way—in the buzz book—and she remembers the bandage arena fairs, rodeos, parties and clubs, abnormally Marty’s Top of the Hill in Sebastopol, the county’s arch country area at the time. “It was actual rich, talent-wise,” she says of the Sonoma County arena in the 1980s, “and the clubs, they were abundant places to play.” California were additionally one of the aperture bands at Jerry Lee Lewis’ abominable Santa Rosa Fairgrounds concert, breadth the bedrock and cycle fable showed up two hours backward and played until the wee hours of the morning.

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Iskin became affianced to Bruce Crosby, the group’s tender-faced baton and singer. “There’s annihilation like actuality with your lover,” she gushes, “and actuality in the best absurd band, autograph the music together. It was aloof like heaven, actuality with Bruce.” But the bells never happened. In 1987, stricken with leukemia, Crosby anesthetized abroad in Iskin’s arms.

Iskin bankrupt houses for a year afterwards, but anon got aback into music, specializing in music advised for airy healing, which she still plays to this day. Her canicule in the bandage still account her affection to stir. “It was aloof a absolutely admirable acquaintance that I’ll never balloon for my absolute life,” she says, “and to accept bought my home and say that music has been my activity and that there are so abounding added musicians that can say that from that period–you can’t say that now.”

A 45 by a bandage alleged Freestone is calmly the best amazing almanac in the pile, my analysis apprehension abundant added than I bargained for. There’s no abode on the record, but the name bent my eye, administration as it does the name of the babyish West County town. Putting the aggravate on the record, I was advised to a moronic, atrocious bang of adolescent acerbity alleged “Bummer Bitch”: “Bummer bitch! You accomplish me sick! / Bummer bitch! Suck my !”

Was this bandage absolutely from Freestone? I initially begin some jailbait bulletin boards online that placed the bandage in San Francisco, but I kept digging and got in draft with Freestone’s guitarist Andrew Berlin. Now alive in L.A., Berlin accepted that the bandage were in actuality originally from and alleged afterwards the boondocks of Freestone.

“We started off arena on the Russian River for tips aloof so we could eat,” he says, “because all we had was our music. Aloof livin’ on the land, autograph our songs.” The band’s guitarist, Malcolm Teacher, was a babysitter on an alone craven agronomical in Freestone, and Berlin, beginning from a assignment as Little Richard’s sideman, came out from Florida to alive in Freestone and alpha the band.

Above KVRE DJ and co-owner Ed LaFrance remembers Freestone as a “hippie band—whirling dervish–type stuff,” and indeed, the band’s aboriginal complete was a artefact of Sonoma County in the 1970s. “Everybody was aggravating to do their own thing,” Berlin affirms, “and appear up with an abstraction that was different.” Afore too long, they started traveling bottomward to San Francisco.

Demography cues from jailbait bands like the Nuns and the Avengers, Berlin recalls, “I accomplished that you can say whatever the fuck you want.” He brought to the bandage a song that he says he wrote while affronted with his girlfriend. “I’ll appear aback and altercate with you later,” he told her, “and I went and wrote the song in about bristles minutes.”

“Bummer Bitch” was originally advised as a joke, a bluff of the new, affronted complete that was starting to explode. But it had been a big hit during the band’s shows in San Francisco, and aback Freestone went to almanac a single, “Bummer Bitch” was an accessible choice. Berlin alleged his old bang-up Little Richard up for advice, who in about-face put them in draft with industry mogul Bumps Blackwell. A few weeks later, 1,500 copies of the 45 came aback from the factory.

All of a sudden, Freestone were huge in the jailbait scene, and the bandage played into it with busy date shows aided by backward San Francisco apostle Dirk Dirksen. Bill Singletary, Freestone’s bassist, remembers accepting continued bristles and a bristles that fabricated him attending like Jesus. While assuming “Church” (the record’s abandoned A-side), “I’d booty my clothes off and put on this loincloth and get up on a cantankerous abaft a curtain,” Singletary remembers, “and again at a assertive allotment of the song, this big ablaze would go off and the blind would appear down.”

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Alike at the Mabuhay Gardens, breadth the bandage already aggregate an Easter Sunday bill with the Dead Kennedys, the mock-crucifixion angered some patrons. “It’s a abundant attribute to blend with,” Singletary admits. “Even in the aboriginal ’70s, aback you anticipation everybody had already gotten their minds blown.”

Singletary thinks that “Bummer Bitch” was absolutely accounting about bagman and onetime diva Billy DeMoya’s wife, who, he says, “started all kinds of problems. She was crazy.” He additionally concedes that the bandage were experimenting “with lots of altered things, not aloof music. So we were trippin’ on lots of stuff. We had a abundant time.” DeMoya himself, now alive in Florida, paints a agnate picture.

“Freestone,” he declares, “was fueled and financed by cocaine and LSD. We went to [legendary FM station] KSAN with draft and got them to comedy it,” he recalls. “Just about every above radio abject played it aback we accustomed with the ‘magic substance.'” In a aing besom with a almanac deal, Seymour Stein from Sire Annal came to the band’s new abode in San Francisco. “He said he admired it,” shrugs DeMoya, “but that crumb will accept you adage anything.”

Freestone eventually morphed into a power-pop bandage alleged the Fans and appear a almanac of new material, but crowds knew what was up: they still chanted for “Bummer Bitch.” Eventually the accumulation disbanded. DeMoya now plays in a Florida awning bandage sponsored by Jägermeister, Singletary plays with Bay Breadth bluesman Jackie Payne and Berlin is a acclaimed best guitar banker and flat buyer in Los Angeles.

Original copies of the Freestone 45 advertise for a amazing $600–$700 on eBay these days, acknowledgment in allotment to its admittance on a accepted jailbait accumulation alleged Killed by Death. Berlin says he’s admiring with the record’s underground bandage status. “But apparently the coolest affair that happened,” he relates, “was aback I was at Hurrah’s in New York, a ball club from the ’80s that captivated bags of people.

“David Bowie was DJ-ing, and at midnight, he spun ‘Bummer Bitch,'” Berlin beams, “and the accomplished army of bodies in New York knew the lyrics. It blew my mind—a little blue bandage from Sonoma County.”

For now, it’s time to put these belief aback in the garage. But every year, the accumulation of annal keeps growing, fabricated by the blue little bands from Sonoma County who already had a chance.

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