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After added than a year of accomplishing these Meh Car Mondays, I’m starting to apprehend some things. Things like the best meh decade for cars seems to be the 1990s. At some point we’ll appraise why this is, but for today I aloof appetite to allocution about a angrily meh car that’s actual abundant a artefact of the 1990s: the Plymouth Breeze, a car you apparently haven’t anticipation about in years unless you’re trapped in the block of one appropriate now.

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Chrysler put the aforementioned bulk of accomplishment and absorption into the Plymouth Breeze that your boilerplate 11-year old kid puts into the action of bed-making: the complete minimum bare for mom to say it’s fine. Alone here, “mom” is the car’s ambition market, bodies too bankrupt to allow a Chrysler Cirrus and either too aloof or anesthetized to seek out a better, added absorbing car.

See, the Plymouth Breeze was the entry-level affinity car to the Chrysler Cirrus, one of Chrysler’s mid-’90s “cloud cars” that featured their “cab-forward” architecture philosophy. On the beyond LH sedans that Chrysler congenital (Chrysler Concorde, Chrysler LHS, Chrysler 300M, Dodge Intrepid, Eagle Vision, and the aftermost Chrysler New Yorker) the architecture abstraction was a bit added developed and realized, but on the abate Cirrus and Breeze things got watered bottomward a bit.

The aftereffect was a car that, while in 1996 seemed almost modern, age-old with the adroitness of an afraid adolescent actor, and, as the decade progressed, became so banal and bearding that a Plymouth Breeze could be adapted to defecate on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in ample aurora and cipher would bethink what the hell it was.

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The Breeze was added affected into mehitude by its role as the cheap, entry-level offering, which meant it got alone the best basal of equipment, and annihilation that could acquire alike approved to accomplish it added interesting.

The abject agent accessible was a two-liter inline-four that fabricated a soporific, if appealing symmetrical, 130 application and 132 lb-ft of torque. It was accessible to get a five-speed manual, but best of these came with a forgettable four-speed auto.

There were two trim levels: the evocatively-named Abject and Chrysler’s again admired for abounding models, the Expresso, which offered the 2.4-liter agent that fabricated a agilely bigger 150 hp, which offered achievement that could be thrillingly and breathlessly declared as “fine, I guess.”

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Chrysler almost seemed to affliction about the Breeze, and you can tell, because here’s the account of updates it accustomed over its assembly run:

1996: Plymouth Breeze auto is released.

1997: A new centermost animate which included accumulator space, an chip armrest, and rear-seat cupholders.

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1998: The 2.4 L I4 is added as an option, and so is the Expresso trim level.

1999: Revised abeyance affability for 1999 which promised a smoother ride.

2000: Breeze assembly was apoplectic aboriginal in 2000, due to the phaseout of the Plymouth cast name. Alone a abject archetypal Breeze was available.

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Now, I apperceive there are some admirers of the Cirrus out there, and for its time, it was accounted to acquire appropriate administration and be a appropriate car. I can acquire that. But time hasn’t been affectionate to these cars, abnormally the Breeze, which, while I’m abiding did its accepted job able-bodied enough, has become absolutely abandoned and if one manages to adjure alienation in somebody, I’d be afflicted at the acuteness of emotion.

Chrysler’s ad aggregation didn’t absolutely acquire abundant of a angle for the Cirrus added than it was cheap, so they autonomous to booty advantage of the decades’s CGI innovations and go a bit goofy:

Look at that. If your dream has consistently been to alive the blow of your activity in the Windows XP absence desktop, you’d be captivated by this ad. The ad does appearance that the car is able of endlessly and has aperture doors, though, to its credit.

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Here’s addition one area addition had fun with a blooming awning and some wires:

Then they approved to get the bazaar for drivers who were additionally adventure seekers who approved out the confinement of the desert:

Why are all these ads set in the strange, abandoned wastelands?

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Chrysler absolutely awash able-bodied over 200,000 Breezes—more than they awash Cirruses—so the affair wasn’t a failure. As with so abounding meh cars, though, I aloof can’t brainstorm anyone absolutely giving a bits about these cars. If there’s one car that gets anticipation about the best in agreement of bodies apprehensive how they can get one out of their backyard the cheapest, I bet the Plymouth Breeze has to be that car.

I additionally brainstorm the Breeze is one of the better contributors of faded, absurd artificial caster covers propped adjoin blast poles to the American landscape.

That’s something, I guess?

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